I lost
by KMaybe
Summary: Written from Itchika's POV of the story line.


My story starts the day they said "She can't be found." They had stumbled upon the bodies of her mother and father, bullet shots to the heads. "Blood was everywhere." they told us. My parents had chased me all the way to her house, I couldn't believe it when I heard and I had to see for myself. There were men there from the magistrate who wouldn't allow us in. My father asked all the questions, how someone would even want to kill her or her parents. They didn't reveal much, aside from that apparently her father had been smuggling, but the killer was unknown. We never knew the family to do anything of the sort. My mother tried to comfort me as I had stood there silently, trying my hardest not to cry. When my father asked if they only found two bodies the men seemed confused but said yes. I think he knew something was wrong and didn't want to reveal they had a daughter who was missing. She could be dead, but there was no body. I had hope, Hope that she was still alive somewhere. I thought of her every moment of the day.

It wasn't until a few months later when I was told to meet up with my mentor, Mr. Sasaki down by the river to assist him with a body that had floated down the canal. That was when I swear I saw her. I could recognize her anywhere. Her beautiful, long pink hair was hard to miss. Something strange happened though, the woman hid behind a tall man with wavy light purple hair. But what was the youngest son of Iseya doing here at a crime scene. As quick as I blinked the two were gone and I found myself alone with my mentor.

"Mr. Sasaki! Please tell me I wasn't the only one to see the pink-haired woman with the son of Iseya?" I pleaded desperately, completely ignoring the task at hand.

"You weren't Itchika, but now is not the time to speak of such things. We have other matters to attend to." He sternly replied, while rummaging through the victims pockets and pulling out a small slip of paper. I couldn't focus.

"But this is importa-"

Suddenly I was struck on the head by the sheath of Mr. Sasaki's sword.

"This is important, Itchika! Whatever silly questions you have will have to wait." He shouted. I sighed and reluctantly returned to my work. Was it really her? It could have been another pink-haired woman. I mean, what would she be doing in the south ward anyways? And with the likes of the son of Iseya no less? Had I missed an important part of her life where she was somehow acquainted with his family? When we were finished with work that day and we were about to leave the constable's office I asked him again about the woman I saw.

"Do you know what her name is?"

"It's Yui." He said so plainly. The very mention of her name made my heart sink. So she was alive! I knew it was her!

"Then I know her! Wait, you know her! Please tell me where she is?"

That was the moment he looked shocked. The only other expression he's had all day. I barely ever saw him anything but serious.

"You do?"

"Yes! Mr. Sasaki, she is the friend I was telling you about!"

He closed his eyes and cleared his throat. "I see."

"Please you have to tell me where she is!" I pleaded yet again.

"Calm down, Itchika. I am sure you are concerned but I can assure you she is safe."

"Please answer my question!" I begged him. He sighed heavily.

"She lives at Kyokatei."

"Kyokatei!? Isn't that where you live as well!?"

"Yes, the owner, My acquaintance allowed her to live there in exchange for work. You needn't worry, they don't make her work to hard."

"I want to see her, please take me with you to Kyokatei!"

"You probably shouldn't be showing up out of the blue, Itchika. I'll keep an eye on her for you if your worrying that much."

And with that he continued walking as I stood there, watching him. Mr. Sasaki is strong, and I trust him. Surely she would be safe with him around. I returned home that night ecstatic and told my parents the good news. They were relieved and so thrilled to know she had made it out alive from that horrible crime. They expressed their desire to have her come to visit sometime soon. The next day came and went with no incidents and I couldn't keep my mind off her. I had to see her in the flesh and speak to her again. I missed her so much. So when the morning arrived, I made my way to the south ward once again and asked a few people how to get to Kyokatei. That's where I saw her again, Standing outside gathering water. I paused and stared in awe at her beauty. I had to admit to myself I had loved her in secrecy for quite some time now, she was unaware of my feelings. She was wearing a simple white and cerulean kimono. It had been so long since I had spoke to her, I had to work up the courage to approach her.

She had dipped her ladle in the water and swung it, getting it all over me.

"Whoa! Hey that's cold!" I shouted instinctively.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She said, turning around to see whom she had gotten wet. She gasped and breathed my name when our eyes met.

Thousands of questions ran through my head. What would I ask her first!? Why she didn't come to me? How she found herself here? However, all I could manage to blurt out was "Hey." She asked me what I was doing here and I explained to her how I had saw her by the river and how I had gotten the scoop of where she lived from my mentor. I then told her how fond of him I was for saving me. She seemed almost despondent with me, I couldn't understand it. She was always so cheerful and bubbly. When I questioned her about why she didn't come to my home after the murder of her parents she said she didn't want to worry me. She seemed disinterested in conversation, so I changed the subject.

"So what's it like living here?" I asked with a smile.

"You know, it's not bad. Sojiro has been really kind to me."

"I see."

"Yeah he's usually pretty quiet. But actually, sometimes he's really nice, and he pays attention to me. But other times he can be so shy." She explains, grinning from ear to ear. Her response took me by surprise. It would appear she was quite fond of Mr. Sasaki as well.

"Why are you hanging out with Mr. Sasaki so much anyways?" I interrogated while dropping my gaze from her.

"Huh? Why?"

"I don't know, just now when you were talking about him you looked really happy. You met him when you started working here, didn't right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It just seems like you've become really friendly."

She stutters as she tries to tell me it's nothing.

"Wait, is there something going on between you two you don't want to tell me?"

"No! It's nothing like that!" She shouts, raising her voice defensively.

I was starting to get frustrated, so I ruffled my hair. There's no way! How could something have developed between her and Mr. Sasaki? He doesn't seem like the type to seem interested in pursuing a woman.

"Ah, what I want to know is." I rephrased. "Are you in love with him?"

I locked eyes with her to see her reaction. Again she denied anything happening.

"Hey, it's Itchika." Came a sturdy voice I knew very well.

"Good Morning Sojiro." Says Yui. I stayed silent.

"Oh, look at your face." He says as he reaches out and runs his thumb underneath her eye, smudging something off. Looking at her, I see she looks sort of bashful and nervous. I study their movements with deep interest.

"You didn't sleep at all last night, did you? I told you not to worry." He continues. "You were up late enough as it is, you're probably exhausted. You should get some rest."

"You were up late? And now you're exhausted!?" I added.

Then she suddenly tugs on his sleeve and whispers something into his ear, just seeing her that close to him makes me angry. Whatever it was she says, it causes his eyes to widen and he murmurs something I couldn't quite make out.

"Ah, I see. Sorry." I hear him mumble to her, clearing his throat.

I bring up an old childhood memory I shared with her to change the subject and gain her attention back from Mr. Sasaki. She finally shows me her smile as we reminisce, only to abruptly be cut short again.

"Sorry to interrupt, I haven't had breakfast yet. Can you fix me something?" He asks her.

"Right away!" She exclaims, bidding me farewell and disappearing into Kyokatei. As she escapes my view, my eyes turn back to my mentor, who is now glaring at me. Was he mad? Or perhaps jealous?

"Itchika. Is there any reason you're here?" He questions. We were both off duty today so I knew I couldn't lie.

"Not really. I suppose I just wanted to see Yui since you told me where she was. The two of us have known each other as long as I can remember. I already asked Yui but are you sure there's nothing going on between you two?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, you're not lovers, are you?"

"L-Lovers? What gave you that idea?" Says an agitated Soji.

"Your reaction wasn't very convincing. You have the same reaction Yui had earlier."

He was shocked to hear me say that.

Suddenly, Mr. Sasaki's friend Aoi shows up. I hated this guy, he always picks on my every time I see him. I just couldn't seem to figure him out.

He notices the tension and asks about it, and after we explain he proceeds to say shes a pig-nosed girl, but has a nice body. His comment angered the both of us, and we quickly defended her. It angered me even more that he found it so amusing. Mr. Sasaki didn't out right say he liked her. At this point, Yui comes outside again and greets Aoi as she comes close, informing Mr. Sasaki that his breakfast was ready now.

"Sounds like Sojiro has you cooking his breakfast now?" Asks Aoi curiously.

"Oh yeah, I take care of some of his chores for him, clean his room, and do his laundry."

As they bicker Aoi suddenly throws out a joke about them being married and I swear at that moment I was lost to everything around me. All I could think about now was her kindness towards my mentor. So I decide to throw out my trump card and butt in, telling her about the upcoming festival that I would like to take her to, but she doesn't seem to get the hint that it would be a date, and asks Mr. Sasaki if he would like to go with her because he works so hard and should take a break. I was so livid that I exclaimed that I was still going with her whither he decided to go or not. So then she said it would be great if everyone went, including a man named Sion, who I later learned was the name of the man she was with by the river that fateful day.

After coming to that conclusion we all go out separate ways, but I was so upset about how everything played out. Here I am walking home alone, while she's inside probably eating breakfast with Mr. Sasaki, showing him that smile that I loved so much. How was it fair? I was there for her her whole life, and where had he been? How had they even met each other? Why did she find herself at Kyokatei in the first place? That was the day that I realized, the man that I had been looking up to had now become my rival; And no matter how much I idolized him, I refused to lose her to him.

When the festival rolled around, I found myself anxiously waiting outside Kyokatei waiting for Yui. Sion had showed up shortly after me but we didn't speak. He didn't seem to be as bad as his reputation. It seemed like it was forever by the time I saw Mr. Sasaki and Aoi exit the building, apologizing for being late. Yui was following behind them, and as they stopped she continued and stood between the two of them and greeted Sion and I. I was completely taken aback at how beautiful she was. She was wearing a nice light pink yukata that looked brand new, and her pink hair was neatly tied up in a nice bun, complimented with a peony hairpin. She didn't look like that cute girl who lived down the street from me anymore, she looked like a woman, and I found I was falling in love with her even more. Mr. Iseya flat out started flirting with her from the first word to come out of his mouth that night. I got so angry but I couldn't find the courage to stop him. Yui didn't quite seem to like it herself and as she asked him to stop, Mr. Sasaki stepped right in and set him in his place. Sion had taken hold of her hand as began walking in the direction of the festival, the rest of us followed closely.

We all were seemingly competing for her that whole night, even Aoi joined in this time around. After making the pig-nosed comment the other day I came to the conclusion that he made absolutely no sense to me. At one point while we were eating fish I managed to wipe some salt off the side of her lips. Sion had won her a hand mirror at one of the other stalls, and then wiped out one vender's supply of hairpins completely clean to give to Yui. How could anyone of us compete with this guys money? We all told him how upset we were with him outright outdoing us and before we realized it, both Mr. Sasaki and Yui were gone. Had they taken off together? How sly of him to remove her from the group! We decided to continue walking together so we could try and find the two of them, to no avail.

About half an hour after we had lost them we stopped in our tracks to see the fireworks that had started going off. I couldn't enjoy them because all I could think about was Mr. Sasaki being the one to watch them with her. I wondered where they could be, and if he was taking the chance to make a move on her. If he did, my chances would be lost. They were over almost as soon as they begun and we continued our search again. The crowd was beginning to die, and we hoped our chances of finding them soon would be better. We had stopped to take a break by a nearby shrine and thats when they ended up finding us instead.

My heart had shattered, in front of me were the two of them, holding hands. She seemed to have noticed how sad I was after Sion and Aoi asked if they were together. They never gave a straight answer, but I could tell from the way they looked at each other. I was defeated, but then I wondered, did I really ever have a chance to begin with?

Then Mr. Sasaki called out to me.

"Yes?" I responded sadly.

"Sorry." He said.

"Please don't apologize! You haven't really done anything wrong."

"I suppose not."

"But you better make Yui happy or I'll never forgive you!"

"Sure, of course I will." He replies happily, again locking eyes with Yui.

I found myself in a depression as the months went by. I didn't stop by to see her anymore, only on the rare occasion did I see her when I was out with Mr. Sasaki, but by that point I hated seeing her and wished I wouldn't, because every time was a constant reminder that she wasn't mine and it saddened me more. I thought Mr. Sasaki was a wonderful man, strong and courageous with a strong sense of justice, someone like him would easily be able to give her what she deserved and what had I to offer? I was young and stubborn. It pained me even more when I was told by Aoi one day that the two of them had married unexpectedly in the night by Lord Toyoma himself! I could see why he wouldn't tell me though, he suspected I would become upset. And I was. I was embarrassed to tell my parents that I had lost her to the very man I owed my life to. They were sure we would have ended up together.

As the years past, I remained loyal to my beloved mentor and stayed his assistant despite the emotional hardship I faced on a daily basis. I remember the day very well; I was sitting on a rock, enjoying the breeze that had swept by. I had traveled to the home of my boss, the first time I had ever done so, while I waited for him to accompany me to town for work. I was watching a young little toddler run around me in circles. He had black hair with a hint of red, yet not as red as his eyes. He was the spitting image of his father, Mr. Sasaki. By that time, I had come to accept the fact that Yui would never be mine, for Mr. Sasaki made her happy. I knew he loved her very much and I was okay with that. I had made some good friends and new friends. In the end, I was just happy that she was alive.


End file.
